Before I start to share with you my understanding of and experience with various emotional intelligence competencies, I would like to tell a little about why I chose “Reflect, learn and grow” as my mantra. The human brain learns through many different techniques and strategies. Some of them are natural learning processes and some are adapted by humans through evolution. The most natural way of learning is trial and error. We, humans, naturally tend to repeat the behaviours that lead to reward and refrain from behaviours that lead to some kind of punishment or failure. In my experience, the most effective way of learning is reflection and discussion. One learning technique is experiential learning where it is the first-hand experience created in a situation that generates the learning. But is it enough to just generate the learning? To me, the answer is: NO; it’s not enough to just create the learning. It is even more important that the learning sticks around, that it is transformed into habit, that it is durable. It is extremely important that the learning that is created does not end when the experience is gone but rather becomes a part of the habit system. So, what does it take to transform the learning into the habit? I read a piece of research that claimed that it takes 21 days to make a habit but even before going into the practice of a behaviour we need to do something else. After having a new experience, we discuss the experience, we reflect upon it. What did I just experience? How do I understand this situation? Is it a new information that is generated for me? Does it make sense? How does this fit in the information that I already have generated? That is when real learning takes place. So, for me the learning process looks like this:
It is not only the reflection about what happened and what did I learn but also about how can I apply this learning in my practical life. That is why this process of learning, discussion and reflection is an essential part of all my workshops and coaching sessions.